How Jemima Kirke Really Felt Playing Joe Alwyn's Wife In 'Conversations With Friends'

Publish date: 2024-04-21

Hulu's Conversation With Friends is getting a ton of attention, mostly because it stars Taylor Swift's boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. And fans have absolutely been thirsting after Joe, mostly because of certain scenes and behind-the-scenes photos he's shared. While Joe may be famous for being with T-Swift, he's certainly not as experienced as an actor as a couple of his co-stars. Mainly Jemima Kirke.

The show, which is based on the novel by Sally Rooney, features the former Girls star as Melissa, the wife of the man who has an affair with the lead character. She is the opposite of the character Jemima played on Girls, thus showing just how versatile of an actor she truly is. But like Jemima, she is not always a sympathetic character. While it's her who is cheated on, it's very clear that Melissa's relationship with Joe Alwyn's Nick isn't what it's cracked up to be. Given the complexity of the character, and the backseat she often takes to the lead, not every actor would gravitate to the role. Here's what Jemima really thinks of Melissa...

Jemima Kirke Plays A Very Contained Melissa On Conversations With Friends

During a recent interview with Vulture, Jemima addressed the fact that her character isn't just pigeon-holed as an angry wife dealing with a husband who has cheated on her. While she certainly has her moments of anger, the character is far less of an archetype. Part of this has to do with the fact that she herself has previously had an affair. And part of this is due to the fact that she is so self-aware.

Melissa is clearly hurt by her husband's choice to have an affair and (worse) fall in love. But she also knows that she can't be a hypocrite about it.

Related: The Real Reason Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn Are Keeping Their Relationship Quiet

"It’s such a tricky area, not just because she cheated and the hypocrisy of that," Jemima explained to Vulture. "No instance of cheating is the same as the last because every infidelity has its details, and the details always matter. It’s not 'Well, you cheated, and so I cheated, and so we’re even now!' No. It doesn’t work that way. The details that sting the most in Nick’s relationship with Frances is that he fell in love. And falling in love is a whole other betrayal. It’s also something he can’t help, which is the biggest heartbreak of it. It’s something he didn’t do to her. It’s very easy to be angry at someone for something they did to you. It’s much harder to be angry at someone for a feeling."

Related: Joe Alwyn Addresses Those Taylor Swift Engagement Rumors

As for some of Melissa's actions in the latter half of the first season, Jemima believes that she finally was able to delve into her anger in a subtler way than just blowing up.

"I think a lot of her actions during [their polyamorous relationship] were deliberate. Her goal was to show that Frances had bitten off more than she could chew. She wasn’t going to make this easy for Frances. She was going to throw her into the deep end of what it entails to be in any relationship. The person you are choosing is going to be flawed and is going to be somewhat mismatched for you. Are you prepared to be in a relationship that is not always sexual and not always romantic like Melissa is? She’s trying to show her, I’m stronger than you. I am at boss level of being in a relationship and you are not, and I want to run you through a crash course on that. It’s impossible that she’s this selfless. There has to be something that serves her in choosing the high road, in permitting the relationship. The thing that makes her look better than Frances is to be the non-jealous one, to be the more stoic, stable wife."

Is Jemima Kirke Mad Her Role Is Small

Given that Jemima Kirke is easily one of the biggest names in the cast of Conversations With Friends, many expected her role to be decidedly bigger. But since the story was told from the perspective of Frances (Alison Oliver), there wasn't a lot of room for her character on the screen. But that doesn't mean Jemima's absence was felt. Her role was vital to the first season and Jemima knew it.

"Having less screen time is always great because it’s less work. But it’s not a 'get out of jail free' card. You have to pack so much into every action because every action is so normal and everyday and mundane," Jemima explained to Vulture. "Seeing things from Frances’s perspective, the only place that’s limiting is in the book, because as the reader, we can’t see what she sees. We can’t see what Melissa looks like, we can’t see what her actions are, we can’t see the very object Frances is interpreting. That’s where turning something into film is so enriching. There’s a lot at stake in doing that because you can really ruin something. Or it’s a chance to make it so much better because you’re actually revealing a picture of what the person is seeing. I would say it was expansive to be able to be her rather than just read about her."

Next: The Truth About Casting 'Girls'

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